That Which Defines Us
by The Feisty Rogue
Summary: Bellatrix has to make a choice that will define her future: follow in the footsteps of her family or forge her own path.


**That Which Defines Us**

* * *

_"Madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. Every time a new Targaryen is born the gods toss the coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land." — George R. R. Martin, A Storm of Swords_

* * *

Bellatrix frowned at the white diamond on the desk before her. It sparkled in the dim light of the Slytherin common room, reflecting glimmers of green and silver from its surroundings.

_"Transmutare,"_ she murmured, tapping it with her wand. Nothing happened. With a growl, Bellatrix returned to her notes. Perhaps she'd been ambitious in making this her final year project, but if she could prove to McGonagall that she could Transfigure diamonds into ice and back again, the woman would write her a recommendation for a position with the Department of Mysteries.

Her perimeter ward pinged and Bellatrix looked up to see who was requesting entry, ready to hide the evidence if necessary. Narcissa stood a few meters away wearing immaculate evening robes in shades of royal and peacock blue, a hand perched on her hip and an eyebrow raised. Bellatrix flicked her wand and granted Narcissa permission to approach the desk she was working at.

"No luck, Bella?"

"Not yet."

Turning back to her books, Bellatrix focused on a passage detailing the exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration.

"You know, if you persist on staying hidden behind an obscuration ward like this, all those curious are only going to try harder to figure out what you're doing."

"Busybodies," Bellatrix muttered. "They can try and they can fail."

Narcissa's pale, manicured hand landed atop the book Bellatrix was reading, covering the passage of text. "Bella, listen to me: you need to take a break. Go for a walk. Get some fresh air. But you've been here for twelve hours straight and that's just not healthy."

Bellatrix snarled and slammed the book shut. Narcissa narrowly snatched her hand away.

"I'm working."

"I know. And everybody wants to know what you're working on. When the smartest of the Black sisters hides away their work and doesn't put it down for days at a time, it garners interest. The wrong sort of interest. Use a little discretion, Bella dear. We're Slytherins, not Ravenclaws."

Bellatrix swallowed and leaned back in her chair. Narcissa's gaze was solemn. Looking around the room, Bellatrix realised that she was surrounded by a sea of curious eyes.

"You may have a point," she conceded. Tapping her wand on her notes, they neatened ad marched into her bag. She picked up the diamond and tucked it away in her mokeskin purse.

"Lucius has been asking after you," Narcissa said. _"He's_ heard of your talents."

Bellatrix's blood ran cold. Lucius had graduated two years ago and joined the Dark Lord without looking back. It was expected that she'd follow in his footsteps.

At the thought of the Dark Lord, her hands trembled. She'd heard that he was a powerful, handsome, and intelligent man. Had he ever sat at this desk and puzzled over his homework? He must have. For all he was powerful, he was still a man. Yet her parents spoke of him with such awe in their voices. They claimed his mastery of the Dart Arts was second to none. It was not an easy discipline to master; Bellatrix was somewhat skilled with the Dark Arts herself.

For a moment, Bellatrix imagined giving up on turning the diamond to ice. Instead, she imagined devoting herself to learning dark magic, delving into the Black Library, practising curses on unsuspecting Muggles and Mudbloods. Perhaps, if _he'd_ heard of her talents, he'd even allow her to apprentice to him.

She blinked, brought back to the present by a hand on her shoulder. Narcissa was frowning, the most concern she ever allowed herself to show in public.

"Bella?"

"I'm fine," she muttered. She dispelled the ward around them and stalked away, ignoring the stares. The common room felt too crowded so she darted out the entrance and began striding down the corridors to the library, casting a Disillusionment Charm on herself.

Bellatrix didn't want to join the Dark Lord only to become nothing more than his puppet. She wasn't naive enough to think he'd value her. No; she wanted to push the boundaries of magic further than they'd ever been pushed before. She wanted to explore life's mysteries and learn the secrets of the universe. She didn't want to fight in some stupid war just to prove that pure-bloods were better than all the rest; she already knew that and would prove it through her own talents.

Perhaps she should have taken more care as she walked, for as she strode past the Great Hall, she collided with another invisible person.

"What the hell—who is that?"

Bellatrix took a step back and drew her wand, scanning the corridor for the other night-time wanderer. The Disillusionment Charm was imperfect, but it was dark, the only light the silver glow of the waxing moon. She couldn't see a thing.

There was a rustle of paper, then a familiar voice exclaimed, "Black?"

"Potter?" Bellatrix said. She squinted at where his voice had come from. Potter was a handsome Gryffindor Chaser in the year below, tipped to become the next Head Boy. He was also, unfortunately, best friends with her ruffian cousin, Sirius.

"Shit!" Potter said. "How did you know?"

Bellatrix didn't answer. Instead, she stepped back, hoping she was hidden well enough to silently slip away.

There was another rustle of paper and something softer, like robes, then Potter appeared from a dark shadow, tucking something into his bag. It looked like a black velvet fabric embroidered with gold silk thread, but it shimmered and danced in the light like nothing she'd ever seen before… It could only be a Cloak of Invisibility. No wonder Sirius and his idiot friends were always getting up to mischief!

"Well, hello there, Black," Potter said with a grin. Bellatrix bit back a curse and dispelled the Disillusionment Charm. "What are you doing up?"

"None of your business," she growled.

"Hey, hey, no need to bite my head off." Potter held up his hands in the universal symbol of surrender. "I can't talk, after all."

He tucked his hands into robe's pockets and smirked at her, his hazel eyes gleaming. Bellatrix considered the likelihood that she'd be able to get past him and to the library without an explanation and found it negligible. She could always curse him, but she'd seen him duel Snape and he was no slouch with a wand. The professors would come running the moment they heard the commotion.

"You look stressed," Potter said when it became obvious she wasn't going to answer him. "Come on, I've got just the thing." He crooked his fingers and beckoned her to follow him, pausing after a few footsteps to make sure she did.

"Why should I?"

"It'll be worth your while," he promised. "Now, come on, before Sluggy finds us on his rounds."

After a moment's hesitation, Bellatrix allowed him to lead her further into the castle. She had nothing to lose. She wasn't going to be able to spend the night working on her project and Potter was a diverting enough distraction. As Narcissa had said: perhaps a break would do her some good.

"Bought these last summer, been saving them all year. But with exams in a couple of weeks, I need a break." He lead her onto the battlements through a door she'd never seen before. The air was still warm from the heat of the day and Bellatrix could see shadowy shapes in the night that sharpened to a view of the grounds from above. "Want one?"

Potter offered her a small, thin cigar. Bellatrix took it and lit the tip with her wand, smirking when Potter spluttered in surprise.

"How does Bellatrix Black know about Muggle cigarettes?"

"I'm Bellatrix Black, darling, I know everything," she drawled. Out of the corner of her eye she watched how he sucked in a breath and copied his technique—similar enough to a cigar to bluff.

"Yeah? Go on then, what else do you know?" Potter leaned back against the outer wall of the castle. Bellatrix perched on the edge of the battlements, mindful of the drop. She still had her wand up in her hand, shoulder Potter suddenly prove to be less amiable.

"Hmm," she mused. Feeling a strange urge to show off, she Conjured a large crystal, superficially similar to a diamond although not as valuable. "I know how to break Gamp's Law."

Potter's eyes widened then his gaze turned shrewd. He inspected the crystal then shook his head. "That's not currency. No one's going to pay you more than a pittance for that."

Bellatrix huffed and Vanished it. "You might be right. But I'm going to figure it out. I'm so, so close."

"You'll need an actual diamond to work from," Potter mused. Bellatrix raised an eyebrow, taking another drag of the cigarette. It gave her a pleasant, warm buzz. She'd heard that he was a genius at Transfiguration. She couldn't deny there was something fiercely attractive about his intelligence. It helped that he was easy on the eyes.

"Maybe," she allowed.

"But of course you've already got one. Not exactly difficult for a Black," Potter concluded with a grin. "Have you studied the molecular chemistry of diamonds?"

Bellatrix had never heard of 'molecular chemistry' but she wasn't going to give that away. She flicked her hand dismissively and stubbed out the cigarette, gesturing for Potter to hand her another.

"Of course. That's enough about what I'm up to, I think. Why were you out so late, Potter?"

Potter's eyes glittered with amusement, as if he were canny enough to figure out that she was bluffing. He didn't push the point, however, and instead handed over the packet of cigarettes and shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep. Sirius likes to claim he doesn't snore, but I assure you that he does."

Bellatrix inspected the strange packet he'd passed her, the likes of which she'd never seen in the wizarding world. Then she set it aside and gave Potter a lidded stare, taking in the breadth of his shoulders and the ease with which he held his cigarette between thin, tapered fingers. It'd been ages since she'd tumbled with Rodolphus, but Potter would do nicely as his replacement. Perhaps he'd even be better.

"However will you pass the time?" she purred.

Potter huffed a laugh and flicked his cigarette away, running a hand through his hair. He stepped forward then hesitated before closing the distance between them, his hands hovering over her hips, not quite touching.

"I'm not misreading the signs, here, am I?" he asked, in a quiet, disbelieving voice.

Bellatrix answered him with a kiss.

* * *

The parlour in Grimmauld Place was lit by hovering candles and a fire roaring in the hearth. Green velvet curtains shut out the Muggle street lamps and the dark mahogany furniture gleamed in the low light. Bellatrix watched her mother pace the length of the room, wearing a familiar path on the Axminster carpet.

"It's outrageous. He brings shame to the family. Shame to all of us!" she hissed. Bellatrix exchanged a glance with Narcissa, who pulled a face before smoothing out her expression. Bellatrix was far too impatient and impulsive to disguise herself like that.

"Who?" she asked, although she had a sneaking suspicion. Walburga was sitting motionless in the armchair in the corner of the room, her face like thunder.

"Sirius!" Mother screeched. "He's betrayed us! First, he embarrasses us with his sorting, and now he does _this!_ He's just as bad as Andromeda."

"He was supposed to be the best of us, the heir to House Black," Walburga whispered. Disgust flickered across her face. "Now he's nothing more than a blood traitor. Who will represent us to the Dark Lord now? Who will show him our strength? The Blacks have always been a family of tradition and honour. We must show him that we are still faithful!"

"What has he done?" Bellatrix asked. Whatever it was, she doubted that she'd be surprised. Mother and Aunt Walburga were idiots if they'd ever thought Sirius was going to conform to the Black ways.

"He's run away!" Mother cried. "Fled to the Potters. Oh, the shame of it!"

Bellatrix twitched and envied Narcissa her mask. "The Potters are still pure-bloods…" she said, testing the waters as she trailed off.

"They're allied with Dumbledore," Walburga snarled. "No better than Mudbloods."

Bellatrix swallowed. The Potters were one of the purest families in the history of the wizarding world. They had links to the Peverells and Godric Gryffindor himself. They might be a progressive family but she hadn't realised that made them lesser. James had certainly proven himself not to be.

"Oh, this is so tragic," Narcissa said, interrupting her thoughts. "I might faint. Bella, please help me to our bedroom." It was obvious to anyone that cared to see that Narcissa had an ulterior motive… but their mother and Walburga seemed too preoccupied and Bellatrix hurried over to offer her youngest sister her arm.

"Thank you, dear sister," Narcissa said as they walked upstairs. "Now, ward the room!"

Bellatrix drew her wand and cast a bubble of silence around them. Narcissa turned on her, panic in her eyes.

"I know you love him!" she declared. "Bella, you must flee as well. I know you have been discreet, but you have not been discreet enough. A handful of us have guessed your romance and a handful more suspect it! Mother will find out the moment she cares to speak to the Parkinsons or the Notts."

"I don't know what you mean." Bellatrix took a breath and clenched her fists to stop her hands from trembling.

Narcissa stepped forward and cupped Bellatrix's cheek with her hand. There was a sad, kind look in her eyes.

"I think you do. I saw you kissing him two weeks before you graduated. It looked like love."

Bellatrix gave a jerky nod. Narcissa was right. She hadn't been discreet. She'd thought that James was a safe enough wizard to associate with, despite the war. To learn that her family considered the Potters to be blood traitors was devastating.

"I could kill them…" she murmured, twirling her wand, though the thought of trying to attack James or his parents made her sick. "I could murder his grandparents. I know where they live. That would send a message. I could pretend I was only with him for information. It would make the family proud."

She could sink into the Dart Arts so deep, so far that she would have no space for regret or love in her heart. It would be the only way that she could survive, if she had to hurt James or his family.

"No!" Narcissa cried. "Oh, Bella, why don't you just flee? Follow Sirius and stay with the Potters. Or just live on your own—you know enough of the Black wards that if you hide they'll never be able to track you down."

"And leave my family? Betray you, like Andromeda did?"

Narcissa grabbed her by the shoulders and gazed at her with earnest eyes.

"If that's what it takes," she said. "What good is a family that doesn't support you? I'm safe—I'll be marrying Lucius when I graduate and I'm glad of it. And Regulus is keen to join the Dark Lord; you know that he eagerly awaits the day. The family will be fine… it's you that I'm worried about."

Bellatrix pushed her away. "Let me think," she muttered. Could she do it? Could she leave her family for love? At first it'd just been some fun… but now, now her heart ached at the thought of losing him. Without James and his understanding of Muggle chemistry, she would never have managed to break Gamp's Law. She was due to start at the Department of Mysteries in two weeks time, thanks to his assistance.

It wasn't just love. Before James, Bellatrix hadn't even understood what Dumbledore and his side were fighting for. But now she did—she'd never like to marry a Muggle, but they didn't deserve to be murdered. Although they didn't have magic, they had science, which was close enough. There was so much to learn from them! Andromeda had always joked that Bellatrix ought to have been sorted Ravenclaw. Bellatrix swallowed a sob. She missed Andromeda and her careful, steady ways. But if she followed one sister, she'd be leaving the other behind.

"What are you going to do, Bella?"

The memory of James's voice was like an imperfect echo of Narcissa's words:_ Whatcha doin', Bells?_

Bellatrix growled, hating that she was forced to make this choice, but aware that in truth, she had only one option.

"I'm going to leave."

Tears filled Narcissa's eyes, despite her smile. "Good. I'll miss you, you know."

Bellatrix nodded, blinking away tears of her own. "You stay safe, sister. Don't get involved in the fighting. Promise me that."

"I promise. You stay safe, too. Write to me. I swear I won't tell." Narcissa sighed. "I suppose requesting you stay out of the war is asking too much."

Bellatrix shrugged. With the family baying for her and Sirius's blood and the Potters declared blood traitors, it would be impossible.

"I'll go stall Mother and Aunt Walberga," Narcissa said, taking her by surprise with a hug. Bellatrix wrapped her arms around her sister's shoulders and breathed in her familiar scent: jasmine and vanilla. She might never get the chance again. "Take care." With that, Narcissa slipped from the room.

Bellatrix packed in a rush and snuck out of Grimmauld Place, hearing nothing but faint murmurs as she snuck past the parlour. Outside, the air was warm and smelled of the golden honeysuckle that was wound around the fence of the house next door.

"All is fair in love and war," Bellatrix murmured, looking up at the sky. The stars were hidden by the smog, the moon a thin sickle of silver against the darkness beyond. "James Potter, you'd better be worth this."

She drew her wand and Apparated, leaving behind her dark future and looking forward to a brighter path.

* * *

_Word Count: 3003_

_QLFC Round 10 Captain Prompt: Bellatrix Lestrange died during the war. Reverse her fate._

_From the prompt: If a character died in canon, you will write a story where they survive the war. Whether you focus on the moment that changed whether they lived or died, or you show the impact, the aftermath of their fate through someone else's eyes, or whatever is entirely up to you._


End file.
